9:21 PM, Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I feel like a full-time soccer player. Just without pay. Haha.
What a week! Our friendly with Bowen was terrible. Disgusting was the word used by Miss Koh and Coach. Haiz, really feel sad and disappointed cause we let 2 very important people down. When I think back on our game, I couldnt tell what was really really wrong about it, the mistake was too simple, NO PLAY, JUST BLANK KICKING.
Where were the calls? Communication? Stringed passes? Good defending? Pure desire for ball? Strong passes? ..? ..? It all boils down to basics. It was a tough day, stupid hard field, small field, my stupid new non-seasoned shoes...so much to blame, but before I blame it on these, look at myself.
Rebuild the confidence, think, be thinking players, do what we can during trainings, apply our skills, keep driving positive thoughts in our mind. So many things are going through my head now. I dont think I'm making any sense.
But yes. It was an emotional noon, tears of sadness/anxiousness, hoping that our holding batch realises how lucky we are to even step into the field now. To feel the passion and eagerness to step into the field to learn all we want, like how the seniors always used to. Time to recall what we want, what Coach and Miss Koh expects --- as an individual, as a team.
Another start of the same process, tell myself I'm not going to burn out. I'm not, i'm not. Today's training Coach did visualisation with us. Together in one big huddle. Super emo. Started to tear cause I felt really touched by coach as no one ever did this for us. I felt that the team is really cared for, never so lucky before. I tell myself I really have to do well for my teammates, for my coach, for Miss Koh -- another teacher that guided us and brought us to where we are today. No matter how many more rounds/ fartleks/ kicks/ drills I have to do, I will psycho myself. Not because I'm obliged to, but I really want to show people who dont believe in us, to prove them wrong to prove ourselves right, to really really show gratitude to coach and miss koh for all their faith in us.
Never stop trying, never give up. This is the spirit we have to have in ourselves. This is the spirit of the team. No more sloppiness, no more.
I feel really lost in my school work...and I dont seem to care. Dont think my class will realise too. Only soccer girls do. And I really think I'm in deep shit. Soccer soccer soccer I really feel very happy when I get to step on that muddy field. Someone please realise. Trying so hard to put soccer mood into studies, but I keep failing! Arh. I really have to admit how my class is like. I dont need to explain any further. This is so random.
